Pieces Worth Keeping

Thinking about patron deities and I suddenly got this thought, like it came from Someone else, perhaps. That I haven't found one yet, or none has come to me, because I am simply not worthy.

Not that I'm bad or anything, but rather not developed enough to be of service to a deity. And that maybe I ought to look at some deities and try to figure out what qualities they appreciate and then make myself worthy. And in fact that it is my destiny to do so, as if She or He is quietly waiting for my life to catch up with my idealism.

There's more to these ideas, but I'm too tired... Next time perhaps...

Technorati Tags: Religion, Wicca

Posted by Gemma at 11:46 PM | Permalink | Comments

Hello out there. I know this post will get reads because people in the Shangri-La Diet world keep close tabs on blogs about the method. So hi to all of you.

This is just a quick note to let you know that after my "short break" (that stretched to almost 3 months), I'm going back to the SLD. I just downed my first tablespoon of coconut oil. I'm posting this because if I don't I might "forget" to continue with the oil tomorrow if I don't put some sort of commitment in writing.

Today I went shopping with a friend at the Gap and Old Navy. It was extremely depressing for me to be in stores that never have, and never will, carry clothes to fit me. Right now I weigh about 300 and can barely fit a size 28.

The signs are pointing toward me losing weight. (SLD folks, you should know that I'm a Wiccan, so I tend to see the world through magickal/metaphysical lenses.) A coworker told me that she recently lost 100 pounds. A parent at work told me she'd had gastric bypass surgery. Things have fallen into place in the rest of my life, and it's time for me to focus on my weight issue.

Light a candle for me. I'll need it.

Posted by Gemma at 11:51 PM | Permalink | Comments

I finally bought a new TV, since my 19" has been on the blink for months. I went with a 20" LCD, Sylvania 6620lct. So far, it's a really great little TV, especially for the incredible price of $229 at Circuit City (after sale & rebate). Only complaints are the crappy remote (which doesn't matter, since I'll just be using Dish DVR's remote anyway) and not very good sound (easily fixed by putting cheap Wal-Mart computer speakers into the headphone jack). Even with the cost of the computer speakers, which I already had anyway, it's still an excellent deal and the cheapest 20" LCD TV I've seen anywhere, including online.

An aside: I have found lots of good reviews for this TV online but have one comment on them. People, to indicate "inches," you use double quotation marks. I found maybe 15 reviews that claimed this is a 20' TV. I don't think there has ever been a 20-foot LCD screen!

Anyway, it's a good day.

Posted by Gemma at 1:49 PM | Permalink | Comments

Just once, I wish my family members would get their act together so we can have a decent holiday.

My parents are both sick, so I took it upon ourselves to make sure we had a relatively normal Thankgiving dinner. Turkey and all that. I knew it would be asking too much to think that my brother and sister, and their spouses, would come for the food part. Both of their spouses prefer to go to their own parents' places for holidays because they do them in a big, traditional way, with all the fixings. Whatever.

So I get up this morning to learn that my mother has decided to go back to work this afternoon. She's been out for several days and has really been very ill, and still is quite under the weather. And she made this decision with the full knowledge that although my younger siblings had promised to visit this afternoon between noon and 2 pm, they are never on time. Ever.

I spoke to my sister on the phone around noon. I said, "She's going to work at two. You need to be here before then."

"But Dan is asleep... And we're going to his parents' place later... I don't know if we'll make it..."*

"No. You need to be here. It's Thanksgiving, for Christ's sake." You have to understand that my sister and her spouse live twenty minutes away. We're not talking about getting on Interstate 95 and battling holiday traffic for three hours. They live two towns over. (My brother and his wife also live just 20 minutes away.) So anyway, I finally manage to extract a promise that they'll "try." Uh huh.

Meanwhile, my brother and his wife also said they'd be here between noon and 2 pm.

Uh huh.

When my mom left for work at two, none of them had arrived. Sis shows up at 2:20, while I am writing this post. Dad's calling me to come downstairs. Fuck that. They can wait for me. I'll "try" to get down there to say Hi before they leave.

I have plenty of people to be pissed at today. My mother did not need to go back to work today. She could have waited one more freaking day. Instead she has to play martyr. She'll complain that she "had" to go to work and why didn't anyone show up, and no one loves me? And it's like, "You didn't have to go, so it's your own damned fault! Stop whining!"

But at the same time: they should have showed up. I hate Mom's martyr act, but she's right about one thing - they fucking should have been here.

So my "Thanksgiving" has consisted of a store-bought precooked turkey, peas, stuffing, and so on. On mismatched plates, served out of Gladware containers, and eaten with my parents while watching the National Dog Show.

I'm not looking to be Martha Stewart. If I were I wouldn't have bought mashed "potatoes" in a box. What's important, as they say, is the people. So what am I to think when the people won't even show up? Is it so much to ask that seven people find time in their schedules to all be in the same place at the same time? Seriously. Is this really such an unreasonable request to people who all live in the same 15-mile radius? Millions travel hundreds of miles across the country to visit family at the holidays, and my own kin won't drive twenty minutes? It's so depressing.

All I can say is, when my parents are dead and gone, my siblings will have to cope with the fact that they never spent any time with them after moving out of the house. And you know what? Being who I am, I will feel sorry for my siblings' guilt. I just can't win.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Technorati Tags: Personal, Rants

Posted by Gemma at 3:17 PM | Permalink | Comments

Behind the Counter is a very interesting blog written by a man (at first I thought it was a woman, but it's a gay man, not that that's relevant) who has the misfortune of working the Service Desk at Wal-Mart in Naples, Florida. It confirms what we all know to be true: (1) Wal-Mart employees are overworked and underpaid, (2) Wal-Mart makes mistakes all the time, (3) most Wal-Mart customers are morons, assholes, or both - and (4) Wal-Mart cares only about profit. Some of the stories are priceless, especially the ones about idiot customers. And there's a lot of inside info on how Wallyworld works. Almost enough to make me stop shopping there entirely.

I love his post titles. "When crack whores attack." "How 'bout some compression hose for your mouth?" "The answer to all questions is "NO""

My only complaint about the blog is the author's minor fixation on the obese. Every other person is a "heifer," "cow," or "hugely fat." I don't doubt that Wal-Mart gets a lot of fat customers - including me - but I don't like being lumped in with the trailer trash Wal-Mart customers just because I happen to share a physical characteristic in common with them.

Another downside of this blog... I want so much to believe that most people are basically good, like Anne Frank wrote. That's really hard to do after reading this man's stories. It's truly depressing.

Elderly people fascinate me. They will wait in line to get the price difference back on a can of beans. They won't leave the store until they've done a line-by-line on the entire receipt. And Buddha help you if the cashier forgets a coupon. That's a federal case!

---

The priceless get of the week has to be another of those old bats who will argue over pennies and then say "but it is the 'principle' of the thing."

Well, this old dear made a 40-mile round-trip to tell me that I owed her ten cents on a can of tinned tomatoes. Yep. Priced 87 cents on the shelf, they rang up for 97 cents.

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Every now and again we get someone who thinks that the fee for the MoneyGram service is "negotiable." I guess that some people go through life thinking that everything in life is able to be negotiated for a fee. Charm is currency. So are sob stories. Wal-Mart do not care. Wal-Mart will eat your baby for breakfast on toast, OK? Asking me "to help you out" is not going to cut it.

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You cannot [buy] $50 worth of infant formula on WIC and then return it for cash. It is a state crime to return WIC items for cash. Out-of-date or expired products can be exchanged. NO RETURNS ON WIC. And don't go "Someone did it for me before." Maybe they did and that's why that "someone" don't work here no more.

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Women of a certain age and a certain income are absolutely some of the most difficult customers on the planet to deal with. I think it is a combination of never having been told "NO" by someone ostensibly in a position of service and the thought that their money buys them whatever they want.

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Don't complain about the service. We know it's bad. It is not within our power to fix it. If you continue to shop here, you only help the evil, soulless corporation you profess to hate. Quit shopping at Wal-Mart and support your local mom-and-pop if you REALLY care about service.

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These managers come up, want to know why more registers aren't open, then act shocked when we tell them that 15 people called of or didn't show up on Easter Sunday. Um, you fools are the ones taking call-offs. Or sending people home for wearing blue jeans. I don't care if they're wearing feathers and a thong, slap them on a register!

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Cranky customer walks up. We look up. "Can we help you, ma'am?" my co-worker says. "I CERTAINLY HOPE SO," this person says, in one of the rudest tones possible. "DOES ANYONE IN THIS STORE SPEAK ENGLISH?"

I look right at this woman and go "Si."

Things I learned about Wal-Mart:

• "Everything at Wal-Mart tht's not $1.00 and that ends in two zeroes is on markdown!"
• "The regular Wal-Marts (non-Supercenters) have larger furniture sections. People screw this up ALL the time. They think SuperCenters have all the stuff, but if you just want STUFF, go to a regular Wal-Mart."
• "The average markup on anything bigger than a light bulb is about 65%. Yeah, you read that right. Always low prices my @#$%@#$."
• When you return something, they take your license so they can keep track of how often you're returning and how much you're getting back. There is a limit of three times in 12 months without a receipt.
• "I absolutely refuse to buy fresh food at my store or any other Wal-Mart. Cans are fine. Anything fresh is not. I KNOW how it gets treated!" [No surprise there.]
• The Customer Service desk people are not supposed to call a manager for routine stuff.
• "A Wal-Mart SuperCenter is supposed to have 125 cashiers to be fully staffed for full-time and part-time shifts." But they never actually do.

Posted by Gemma at 2:02 AM | Permalink | Comments

This morning I was outside with the preschoolers and there was this girl, S., who wasn't feeling too well and was sort of hovering near me. I let her hover for a while and then suggested she go play, which she didn't, not so much from being sick but because she is also moody like a teenager.

So we're standing there on the woodchips and all of a sudden she crouches down and starts poking around in them. I figured she was playing or something but then she stood up and said, "Look what I dug up!" And there's this silver ring with a blue stone in it, all crusty with dirt. And I realized that it was mine, and I hadn't even known that I lost it! It must have been 6 weeks ago.

All the digging these kids do, and it gets found by someone when the owner happens to be standing right there. I mean, it's a good sized playground, we could have been standing in a thousand different spots.

Posted by Gemma at 9:52 PM | Permalink | Comments

From UnNews a few months back:

WASHINGTON, DC -- The US Homeland Security Department raised the National Gay Marriage threat level from "fruity" to "flamboyant" today, in response to increased "gay chatter" intercepted by Intelligence agencies. Secretary Chertoff urged citizens to "be vigilant, and on the lookout for queers", but to keep their daily routines as normal as possible in order to keep the economy strong.

National Guard reserve units, as well as extra police, FBI agents, and Protestant Ministers, were deployed in high-risk areas, such as Massachusetts and California. Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger declared that he will "not tolerate the state being taken over by girly-men". Tensions have been high ever since San Francisco temporarily allowed gay marriages to occur a year ago, inducing wholesale panic two thousand miles away in the Southern United States.

The hot-pink alert level of "Flamboyant" is the second highest on the color-coded scale, sitting just below the magenta level of "Flaming Homo". The color-coded system is as follows:

Teal. Threat Level "Manly". Gay marriage ban gaining support; monster truck rally attendance high.
Chartreuse. Threat Level "In the Closet". Low risk of gay marriage; husband's frequent business trips to San Francisco and detours to highway rest stops on drive home from work go unquestioned.
Lemon. Threat Level "Fruity". Moderate risk of gay marriage. Little rainbow flag stickers on shop windows. Over Thanksgiving dinner, awkward but polite inquiry made after the health of your spinster aunt's long-term female "roommate".
Lavender. Threat Level "Lesbian". Lesbian couples buying houses in your neighborhood to raise their children conceived using donor sperm and a turkey baster. Also activates the Vegan alarm system.
Hot Pink. Threat Level "Flamboyant". Imminent risk of gay marriage; non-binding commitment ceremonies in Provincetown, the Hamptons and the San Francisco Manhole Club occur. Suspiciously well-dressed men on street; pride parades. Dude, did that guy just hit on me?
Magenta. Threat Level "Flaming". Gay marriages occur in droves. Armed mobs of homosexuals, backed-up by militant Unitarians and Quakers, storm suburbs forcing hetero couples to divorce and remarry partners of same sex. Ann Coulter comes out: End of Days.
The system was first created in 2001, after Vermont legalized same-sex civil unions. At the time, President Bush declared the beginning of a global "War on Gayness", which continues to this day.

Just last week the Pentagon declared there will be additional Priest deployments to Holland and Norway - two countries where civil liberties have been taken to the extreme. Activists from Holland, thought to be part of the shadowy international homosexual network, "al Gayda", were directly implicated in 2001's legalizations of same sex unions in certain US states, but the link between Norway and US gay activity is dubious.

Critics of the "Norwegian War" are worried about US troops and conservative pundits getting unecessarily sucked into a Scandinavian quagmire, and have questioned whether the war is really the best way to fight homosexuality, or if the US was simply there to seize control of Norway's vast deposits of North Sea oil. But Bush reiterated his mantra that it's better that, "we fight the gays over there, so that we don't have to fight them on our own soil".

Meanwhile, at a Pentagon press conference, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld denied assertions that the war was becoming bogged down and was basically unwinnable. "We're going to stamp out all trace of gayness", said Rumsfeld. "Is that easy? Well, no. Of course not. But considering the difficulties, it's going well. In fact, I'd say our effort has been going better than well. Things have been fabulous".

While no specific threat has been revealed by Homeland Security, anonymous sources report that liberal Universities are particularly vulnerable. Reportedly, "activist professors" in certain institutions are part of hidden "sleeper cells" of homosexual groups, and they openly promote gay rights to their students. The recent NSA wiretapping program was created to root out precisely such enemies.

New technology developed to detect al Gayda
Congress, meanwhile, scheduled an emergency session to debate funding for new technologies in the War on Gayness. Troops have been complaining of inadequate equipment, but a new device developed by Halliburton could prove to be a breakthrough in the war. The device, called "Gay Detection and Ranging", or simply by its acronym, GAYDAR, is capable of detecting homosexuals within a 100 yard radius. Up till now, accurate detection was possible only at close distances, which too often proved to be too late, with the observer quickly succumbing to sexual gyrations from the gay individual being tracked.

Movie explaining how GAYDAR works in the airline industry.
In response to the increased threat level, the Vatican ordered Catholic churches in the United States to lock their doors, hide their Barbra Streisand CDs and paint their altars with horribly clashing colors, in an attempt to prevent gays from physically entering the church and getting married. The Pope appealed to all local bishops to be extra vigilant, and to keep an eye out for covert gay priests.

It is unclear how long the gay marriage threat level will remain at "flamboyant", but experts speculate it could very well last until this year's election day. The reason for this, according to the Department of Homo Security, is that "Those guys really come out during the warmer parts of the year, but are usually forced to retreat into their ungodly homosexual spider holes before the winter chill sets upon them".

Posted by Gemma at 11:25 PM | Permalink | Comments

My only problem with Christians is the extent to which they try to infect our laws with their religious beliefs. Examples include school prayer, abortion, and gay marriage.

It doesn't matter that Christians are the "majority" if they use their power to take away the rights that all people should have. "Majority" is irrelevent when it comes to rights. The rights are there whether the "majority" likes it or not.

Technorati Tags: Christianity

Posted by Gemma at 11:13 PM | Permalink | Comments

Clips I've saved and need to clean out of my Stickies files....

On the separation of church and state (6/29/06):

We can debate the "intent" of the Founding Fathers until the cows come home. It's not really relevant, nor is what people did or didn't "want" in the 1700's. What matters is (1) what the "people" want TODAY, (2) what will fulfill the purpose of having a government in the first place, and (3) what will create the greatest amount of freedom with the least amount of interference in peoples' personal lives.

Intelligent people understand that freedom requires a government to take a neutral stance when it comes to matters of personal belief. The purpose of government is to create structure and protection for its citizens. God and religion have absolutely nothing to do with those tasks.

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It is not the government's place to endorse any religion. Posting the 10 Commandments constitutes an endorsement of Christianity.

For the record, I do believe that both students and teachers should be free to wear religious jewelry and whatnot. That is a PERSONAL expression of religion. Likewise, a judge should also be allowed to wear a cross, pentacle, or whatever. Again - personal expression. Other than in cases of obvious indecency, or over-the-top distractions in the classroom, no one has the right to control what someone wears on their person.

The problems occur when you expand it to large group events that include a diverse body of people, or to buildings, signs and displays that imply an entire institution's endorsement of one faith. The government is an institution intended to serve ALL citizens. The government does not have "rights" that can be given or taken away. The judicial system does not have the "right" to endorse Christianity by displaying the Commandments (or making people swear on the Bible, for that matter.) A town government does not have the "right" to allow Christian prayers before a town meeting but refuse Wiccan ones (true story, BTW).

It's not about "catering" to anyone. That's the whole point. It's impractical to suggest that ALL beliefs be represented (such as in holiday displays), so the only appropriate alternative is for NO beliefs to be represented.

On Christianity:

I am a non-Christian Liberal. (I am not an atheist.)

I don't hate anyone (with the possible exception of Ann Coulter). But I do have a problem with Christians who are intent on converting me. I'm not talking about the occasional Jehovah's Witness visit, or even my mother's expressed unhappiness that I "won't be with her in heaven." I am talking about people who, upon realizing that I am not Christian, seem to make it their life's mission to convert me. This usually happens online. I have encountered Christians who absolutely refused to stop proselytizing, no matter how calmly and patiently I explained that I have no interest in going back to Christianity.

I am a deeply spiritual person. I've studied religion for almost my entire life. I am very comfortable with my choice of religion. I resent it when Christians tell me my religion is "wrong." It seems as if they'll go to any length to convince me of my "error." First I'm told my religion is "evil." Then I'm told that if I don't become a Christian, I'll go to hell. Upon learning that I was once in fact a Christian and decided that wasn't my path, I'm informed that I never "really" knew Jesus. Imagine how a statement like that makes me feel - a complete stranger thinking that they know the innermost workings of my heart. It's an insult.

It is difficult for Christians to understand some of these things, because Christianity is so ingrained in our society. Imagine if the majority of department stores refused to put up "Merry Christmas" but insisted on "Happy Ramadan" and then, when you protested, told you it's their "freedom of religion." (And it is, so there really isn't anything you can do about it.) Imagine that you're the wife of a dead soldier and the government refuses to put the symbol of your religion on his gravestone. (This is happening to a member of my religion.) Imagine verses from the Koran being placed on courthouse walls. Imagine how it would feel to have someone tell you your beliefs are the worst sort of evil. This is why liberals (and other intelligent follks) get so angry when some Christians talk about the "War on Christmas" and how Christians are "constantly discriminated against." It's as if we're waiting for the punchline, but it never comes.

You have a right to try and convert people. The question is, should you? In this day and age it's not exactly difficult to "find Jesus" in our culture. When a person is spiritually ready, or desires to find a religion, it's pretty easy to do so in the U.S. And if they don't seek you out, they're either not ready or have made other choices. It's kind of like a telemarketer... if I want a hot tub, I'll call the hot tub company. In the meantime all unsolicited hot tub company calls to my home will be hung up on.

Personally I think Christ would be far better served by Christians who seek to improve, update, and change perceptions about Christianity, rather than by those who go about spreading information that is readily available to every man, woman and child in all 50 states.

An email exchange on this past spring's Funtown trip, back when I was working for the afterschool program:

(How'd Funtown go?)

Actually it was OK. My back didn't hurt much and the kids were pretty good. Boy, I had a difficult one in my group though. A new kid, age 6. Not difficult as in being "bad." Just, he's sort of a wanderer, and really really sloooow (and that's coming from me!) and, I suspect, a bit mentally slow as well. He didn't really do anything "bad" on purpose. He only wanted to go on the little kid rides. He went on the kiddie boats and stood up in them. He went on the bumper boats and got stuck in a corner about 5 times (like, the guy had to go get him out). 

He messed with the controls on the little airplanes and got yelled at by the lady. He went in the little helicopters and put both of his feet over the restraining bar. He went on the Froggy ride (like the ride that takes you up the tower, then drops you really fast - the kiddie version) and laughed and yelled repeatedly, "My penis! It's hurting my penis!" (Which didn't stop him from going on it about 10 more times and I am not exaggerating.) He cried on the tilt-a-whirl. He was in a sour mood the whole time. And, just when I thought things were getting better, he went on the antique cars and ran into the car in front of him. I am not kidding. I've been taking kids to Funtown since we worked for Standish rec and I have never seen anyone do that.

By the end of the day all I could say was, "He's not my kid. I'm just the teacher. He's not mine."

At the end of the day he wanted to go on the go-carts and I was like, NO. Mostly because we needed some extra time to go to the lost and found to find his wallet, which he lost 5 minutes after we got there.

(C'mon-- You're making that up!)

Not ONE WORD. I swear. And I forgot the part where he ate his whole lunch at morning snack, waited until we'd walked all the way to the Excaliber and the other 4 kids were on it before informing me that he had to pee (and suggesting a nearby bush - "I do it in my back yard all the time!"), and got mad at me because I wouldn't let him use all of his money on carnival games that I knew he had no hope of winning.

Understand that also with me were Miss Diabetes With Insulin Pump that Comes Unattached During Exertion, Miss Screaming Flailing Temper Tantrum, and Mr. Always Does the Opposite of What the Teacher Says. And they gave me NO trouble.

Technorati Tags: Journal

Posted by Gemma at 11:11 PM | Permalink | Comments

Random stuff:

I've pretty much decided to get an LCD TV. How big, where, and when are the questions.

My work is opening a second location, which means career possibilities for me.

My best friend's mother had a heart attack, but she's OK. I hesitated to post this because I don't want to be identified; in the end I decided that noteworthiness trumps anonymity.

It's windy tonight, with much rain expected, and the power has already blinked a couple of times. If the rain we got this week had been snow, we'd be buried. I can't believe how warm it is. Though wet, it was warm enough today to wear just a t-shirt.

Have I mentioned that I CAN'T WAIT for Zelda: Twilight Princess? I just hope the GC version is as awesome-looking as the Wii previews I've seen online.

I use Ecto to publish my blog. I wish it were more consistent about posting. 90% of my first tries in posting fail. I think it's Blogger's problem since they "upgraded," but still.

Better try and post before we lose the power for good. We will; we always do in windstorms.

Technorati Tags: Journal, Personal

Posted by Gemma at 10:51 PM | Permalink | Comments

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is one of the greatest videogames ever created. It isn’t perfect—no game can make that claim—however, Twilight Princess is head and shoulders above nearly every other game I have ever played. It’s indubitably better than Ocarina of Time. It blows away The Wind Waker. And it has a sense of personality and careful balance that instill the player with a serious drive to complete it—something that many other very long adventure games, such as Oblivion, lack.

This is the first game that I have ever awarded a 10 in my six years as a reviewer, and for good reason. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is one of the defining videogames of our time. It is unquestionably one of the finest games ever released, and it is one that any gamer should experience regardless of the circumstances.

- http://www.gamerz-edge.com/wii/reviews/zelda4.html

Technorati Tags: Zelda

Posted by Gemma at 12:56 AM | Permalink | Comments

I dreamt that I was in an upscale mall, walking by many specialty stores of grand scale. Everything was beautifully decorated. Every store had very high ceilings. I went into a candle store that had many nooks and aisles, and I sniffed exotic candles. Other stores were like restaurants where you needed a reservation. I had money but didn't buy anything,, just walked around in dazzlement.

Posted by Gemma at 7:06 PM | Permalink | Comments

Two days ago I was set to preorder Twilight Princess for the GameCube from Amazon.com. Of course, now that I've gotten paid, they don't have it available for preorder anymore. I searched the web for a reputable-looking place to get it, and finally found it on Overstock.com. I'm so glad I decided to preorder; I suspect there will be few copies of this to be had on the day of its release.

This stinks of a scheme to force people to buy a Wii and get that version of the game instead. Folks, get the GC version while you can!

Posted by Gemma at 7:49 PM | Permalink | Comments

Wow, I mean, wow. Two days after the Democrats retake both the House and the Senate - again, thanks be to Goddess - Rush Limbaugh says - Sweet Jesus, I can't decide whether to feel sickened, delighted, or vindicated. Here, read it for yourself. All italics mine.

Now, I mentioned to you at the conclusion of the previous hour that people have been asking me how I feel all night long. I got, "Boy, Rush, I wouldn't want to be you tomorrow! Boy, I wouldn't want to have to do your show! Oh-ho. I'm so glad I'm not you." Well, folks, I love being me. (I can't be anybody else, so I'm stuck with it.) The way I feel is this: I feel liberated, and I'm going to tell you as plainly as I can why. I no longer am going to have to carry the water for people who I don't think deserve having their water carried. Now, you might say, "Well, why have you been doing it?" Because the stakes are high. Even though the Republican Party let us down, to me they represent a far better future for my beliefs and therefore the country's than the Democrat Party and liberalism does.

I believe my side is worthy of victory, and I believe it's much easier to reform things that are going wrong on my side from a position of strength. Now I'm liberated from having to constantly come in here every day and try to buck up a bunch of people who don't deserve it, to try to carry the water and make excuses for people who don't deserve it. I did not want to sit here and participate, willingly, in the victory of the libs, in the victory of the Democrat Party by sabotaging my own. But now with what has happened yesterday and today, it is an entirely liberating thing. If those in our party who are going to carry the day in the future -- both in Congress and the administration -- are going to choose a different path than what most of us believe, then that's liberating. I don't say this with any animosity about anybody, and I don't mean to make this too personal....

It has been a challenge to come in here and look at some of the weaknesses and some of the missed opportunities and try to cover for them and make up for them and make sure that the opportunities are not totally lost. But at some point you have to say, "I'm not them, and I can't assume the responsibility for their success. It isn't my job to make them succeed. It isn't my job to make elected Republicans look good if they can't do it themselves. It's not my job to make them understandable and understood if they can't do it themselves -- not in perpetuity, not ad infinitum." So all I can tell you is I feel a little liberated, and I think this is all going to result in a lot of cleansing in a number of areas.

This man is intolerable. Basically, the message here is, "I've been touting this party and covering up their crimes for all this time, but now that they've lost I guess it's time to distance myself from them."

Anyone who takes their voting advice from the "influence" of a conscienceless asshole like Rush Limbaugh deserves to be drawn and quartered.

Technorati Tags: Politics, Rants

Posted by Gemma at 8:12 PM | Permalink | Comments

Given yesterday's election results, it seems like America is finally getting its act together. And it's about time. But still, check out this screen shot from CNN.com:



We've finally begun the process of returning our country to something we can be proud of, and what are people interested in seeing? Fucking Faith Hill? Fucking Britn - no, I won't even type her misspelled name here.

Oh well. At least we've begun to clean up some of the shit in Washington.

Technorati Tags: Politics, Rants

Posted by Gemma at 7:28 PM | Permalink | Comments

Absurdly - as it's late on a work night and it's not like there's no other news for me to write on - I have to vent my frustrations about the tarot decks now on the market.

People, swords/athames are fire and wands/rods are air. I don't care what the Rider-Waite booklet says.

I know it's the opposite in traditional tarot and in many magickal systems. But I don't understand why. To me it's the most obvious thing in the world. I know, I know. There's no "right" or "wrong." But there's sure as hell "better" and "worse."

My favorite deck is the Gilded Tarot. It's stunning. But it has a flaw that drives me crazy. Each minor card has a jeweled border, and the colors are totally screwed up. Swords, crazily, is blue. Cups is an orange-yellow - not the right color for water at all! Wands is red. Pentacles, thank the heavens, is green. Gilded is still my all-time favorite deck, but if Ciro had just made swords red, cups blue, and wands yellow, it would be 100% perfect. I wonder how the correspondences go in his new deck. I'll surely spring for that one if they're correct.

Reed's Witches Tarot gets the elements right, being a deck targeted for magickal folks. And I like that deck a lot. But it's getting a bit dated. I also really love the Connolly deck, with its bright colors; it doesn't attack elements to the suits.

Technorati Tags: Rants, Tarot, Wicca

Posted by Gemma at 11:35 PM | Permalink | Comments

Happy Election Day, everyone. Please vote your conscience and not your party. (And if you have a conscience, you won't vote for any Republican.)

Technorati Tags: Politics

Posted by Gemma at 4:24 PM | Permalink | Comments

Seriously. I'm sick of people whining about the status quo and then telling me they won't vote because it's just a waste of time. There is no such thing as a wasted vote.

I have voted in every election since I became old enough to do so.

This is how I decide who to vote for. I have a handful of issues that are non-negotiable.

I will not vote for anyone who is pro-life, against stem cell research, against gay marriage, against the morning-after pill, or who otherwise has a history of trying to place religious "morals" into the laws that govern us all.

I will also not vote for anyone whose platform or behavior has caused damage to the environment (or ignored damage being caused). Any candidate who places business interests over protecting the environment, for instance, is automatically not getting my vote.

I am a teacher, so education is obviously important to me. High on the list right now: no candidate who supports the teaching of creationism in the public schools will get my vote. (Unless it's in a class about the history of religion.)

In all of these cases, I will vote for the best person (in my opinion) who doesn't have any of the defects mentioned above. If there is no other candidate to choose from, I write in a local name. That's not a "wasted vote," it's a statement of dissatisfaction.

Slightly secondary to these concerns is the war in Iraq. I oppose this war intensely, but it's not a dealbreaker for me. If a senator voted for the war but has an otherwise positive record based on the criteria above, they will likely get my vote. Why? Because 25 years from now, things like stem cell research and the environment will still be extremely important, whereas the Iraq war will be remembered as a bad idea farted out by a bunch of power-mad lunatics. And not to downplay the war's long-term consequences, of which I am sure there will be many, but my priorities tend to lie in areas that could affect my life more directly. I don't have any family or friends in Iraq. But if I need the morning-after pill, it damn well had better be available to me - and if I (Goddess forbid) ever need an abortion, woe to the politician who thinks they can stop me from having one.

On a local level, if I'm happy with the status quo I'll vote for incumbents. If I'm not, I'll pick the best from those remaining. For instance, although I am a registered Democrat, I am not happy with the way my state's current (Democrat) governor has handled a lot of issues. So this time I'll be voting for the Green Independent candidate.

Technorati Tags: Politics

Posted by Gemma at 7:46 PM | Permalink | Comments

Someone on the Soapbox asked which of the following items scares you the most. My response follows.

Well, take each of those and place them in an historical context.

1. Walmart: They suck, but I don't find them scary.

2. PETA: Ditto.

3. Conservatives - The Bush Admin - Republicans: Ditto, to a point. They are completely and utterly wrong in the direction they want to take our country, but that will change soon enough. We've had idiots in power before, and we will again.

4. Liberals - Democrats - Hillary/Kerry/TeddyK/Dean/Pelosi/Biden: Not scary. Or at least, less scary than the Republicans.

5. Crazy Muslims - OBL and Al Queda - terrorists in general: Imagine a hypothetical situation in which terrorists were successfully destroying a large shopping mall every week for an entire year. Even if that were true, an American's odds of being killed in a terrorist attack would STILL be far, far less than his odds of dying on the toilet due to a bolt of lightening travelling through the plumbing and hitting him in the ass. So no - not scary. (And no, I didn't make that up. Someday I'll find the stats and post them here.)

6. Homosexuals: I don't really see what's to fear here.

7. Homophobes: They're just annoying.

8. Big Oil/Big Business/Corporate America: I am concerned, but not terrified. Yet.

9. The ACLU: Nope. Not scary. I may not always agree with them, but generally do.

10. The Christian Right: Now think about this for a second. Go back a couple thousand years. Which of the above groups, over the past two millenia, have caused the greatest pain, the largest number of deaths, the greatest number of scientific and medical setbacks?

That's right - the Christians. Walmart didn't hold an inquisition that killed thousands. Homosexuals didn't destroy thousands of years of culture and knowledge by burning libraries and banning books. Big Oil didn't kill several hundred thousand innocent people in the witch hunts. The Republicans didn't sexually abuse thousands of children (well... most of them, anyway). The Democrats did not take ancient manuscripts and rewrite them, perverting the spiritual beliefs of millions so as to suit their purposes and pocketbooks. The ACLU didn't decide it was its "manifest destiny" to wipe out 99% of the native cultures in the Western Hemisphere.

Look at what we'd have today if not for the Christian Right. Perhaps by now diseases like Parkinson's and Alzheimer's would be distant memories, thanks to stem cell research. Many things that are huge issues today would be non-issues if it weren't for Christian dogma. Intelligent people have to spend time, money and energy fighting for reproductive rights, marriage rights, religious rights, civil rights, and human rights - things that shouldn't even be up for debate - when they could be using those resources to feed the hungry, develop fuel alternatives, and explore our universe.

Christianity is the greatest evil to ever come upon this world. If not for Christians, we'd be several hundred years more advanced in every area of human development. So to me, the greatest thing to fear are Fundamentalist Christians who think it's acceptable to force their religious beliefs on the rest of us. It is these people who are going to cause the third world war. They're trying to bring on the Apocalypse. For the longest time I laughed off the idea of the "Rapture," but now I wish it really were true, because of they all disappeared off the face of the planet we might finally make some real progress.

To my Christian readers, please understand that I am not bashing you personally. I know many wonderful Christian people. But your religion, as a whole, has done FAR more harm than good.

Technorati Tags: Christianity, Politics, Rants, Religion

Posted by Gemma at 9:57 PM | Permalink | Comments

Written by me, c. 1998 or 1999.

Even as I hear her gentle oft-repeated warning
[Be careful what you wish for]
I cannot help but whisper wishes to this rare-appearing gale

Oya, change me, touch me, touch me, change me.
Cleanse away the debris
Clear a path for my wishes to find me
And for me to find my way.

What airy force rises in this odd season!
Wind and rain and warmth marking our yuletime
I speak odd words to a foreign Goddess
How far-removed I have been from Her people
A pale country girl
But still I turn to face the wind
Reminded that I am spirit
With as much right to claim Her as anyone

Oya! Oy - ya! Her whirling power
Chaotic
She does not look before striking.
When Her sons and daughters cry out
She sends great winds to carry pain away
We face the terror of losing our burdens
For cleansed, nothing remains but our nudity
Clean and new and pure
And the responsibility to refill our lives.

Oya! Help me discard the evil and bad
Pluck the weeds from my garden
They die that my flowers have room to grow
They are the compost.

Oya! Only one whispered prayer and you began your work. I asked you to be firm but slow, as a glacier, unstoppable, and you have been.

Oya! When fear gripped me and I cried out to you
Your winds cleansed me from the Four Corners
And my anguish faded fades
There is nothing I cannot face with your wind to support me.
Strong Sister, continue Your work.

Technorati Tags: Journal, Personal, Religion, Wicca, Writing

Posted by Gemma at 4:08 PM | Permalink | Comments

I live in Maine, and we only have a few places to shop for witchy goods. The one place I visit regularly is the larget pagan-oriented store I know of, and that includes my multiple visits to Salem MA. It's called "Enchantments," and it's in Boothbay Harbor. It's in a two story building!

Thing is, they don't really advertise. Many of the pagans local to me don't even know it exists! Most of their business comes from tourism, although they are open year-round. I love that place to death. My only complaint is that their employees follow people around and watch them like hawks. I know you've got to try and prevent shoplifting but come on, I can't pick out a book while you're staring at me.

Sam Weiser is also based in Maine, but they don't have a store here. Too bad.

We have a few smaller shops, but they rarely survive past three years. My theories as to why:

1. They never carry enough of a variety, and they look more like Hallmark stores than pagan shops. They put three items on one glass shelf when they could fit fifteen. Buying witchy stuff is like a treasure hunt for me; I'm wanting to explore many options, not buy a Precious Ones figurine for grandma.

2. They go heavy on the more "acceptable" Hindu/Buddhist/yoga/Native American/New Age themes, with little that holds genuine appeal to witches.

3. They set up shop in an otherwise private residence - not very professional and kind of creepy - or they set up in a building with no convenient place to park. Or they have terrible hours.

4. Their prices are too high - marked up way over what I'd get online. I'm willing to pay a couple bucks extra for the convenience, but not $10 more than I can get on AzureGreen's website.

5. They pay too much attention to the customer. This is not good when you know many of your customers are closeted or at least wish to be discreet. No, I don't want to discuss what I'm going to do with this red candle. And no, I don't need to sign up for your tarot class.

6. Their merchandise isn't really unique. I can get a plain red candle at Wal-Mart; I can't get one shaped like a naked man. (This is just hypothetical, I swear!)

So if any of you lovely people want to come up here and open a store, don't do any of the above and I assure you you'll get most of my meager paycheck.

Technorati Tags: Journal, Rants, Religion, Wicca

Posted by Gemma at 10:17 PM | Permalink | Comments

Three times the name has appeared to me today. First, I looked on Kala Trobe's website to see if she had any upcoming books, and found the name in an essay I randomly clicked on. I only scanned it quickly with my eyes and didn't even register it consciously. Then I went to read one of her books, and there she was again, just mentioned quickly in passing. Then later, in a Tarot book I randomly picked up, completely unrelated.

Very odd, this sychronicity. I've never even heard of this woman. I wonder what it all means.

Technorati Tags: Personal

Posted by Gemma at 11:49 PM | Permalink | Comments